"Super Sizing" Is Alive & Well

We went to the "wireless" store recently to purchase a new phone for my daughter. Now I know a lot of people that were outraged when the fast food restaurants went to "super sizing" their meals. It was "irresponsible" to place in front of a consumer a choice for additional calories and fat grams. The experience that I was about to encounter seemed hauntingly familiar...

I should have known we were in trouble as we entered the store and someone with a clipboard greeted us to humbly submit our request for service. A helpful addition would have been a "1 hour wait from this point" sign you normally see posted at Disney World. I thought I would receive a "Fast Pass" based on a cellular phone bill that rivals my mortgage payment or at least Platinum club membership with some type of "red carpet" service isle. Based on what I was hearing from people in the store,however, my payment plan paled to the comparison of others. The new phone my daughter wanted was the enV Touch. Which, I am told, has a particular screen size, certain keyboard, blah,blah,blah...(the fact that I even know the type of phone qualifies me for the Dad Hall of Fame.) We waited to purchase it so it could be an "upgrade" on our existing contract. The early visit to the store was prompted by her deciding to take her other phone "scuba diving" and thus rendering it incapacitated. My wife also wanted a different phone and she and my son also received new phones (not sure if it was part of an upgrade as I tried to distance myself from the entire cellular shopping experience. Actually, shoe and clothing shopping is a more pleasant experience).

We spent 1 1/2 hours in this store exchanging phones, discussing wireless plans and trying to figure out how not to pay for Internet access for my daughter's new phone. Due to it being a certain type of phone, Internet service is now required at $10 per month (to send 3 e-mails) or, of course, the unlimited or "super sized" service for $29.95 per month. This is for the service, not for the price of the phone! Having a 13 year old daughter, you do not put Internet service on her phone with the ability to only send 3 e-mails per month for risk of seeing a $500 or $600 additional monthly phone bill. "Can we disable this function?" I asked naively. "No". Can the service turn off if she reaches her limit?" "No". The real answer based on technology is "Yes", it is just not a service they choose to offer. They understand if they place these "delicacies" in front of us as Americans we will more likely choose the greater option. So, being a responsible shopper(but an unpopular parent),we looked at other phones that do not require wireless service. It's like comparing a Big Mac to a Fruit N' Yogurt parfait. As Clara Peller used to say "Where's the Beef?"

While we did not make a decision on the phone that night, bringing back the $5 "super sized" value meal only seems appropriate. So if our government officials want to charge us a "fat tax" for the excessive calories we consume, why not just add on a "chat tax" for the excessive words we communicate on our phones as well. Maybe we can eat and talk our way out of the federal deficit...